Relationships, courtship, and marriage are not small issues. They are salvation issues. Inspiration shows that many will lose eternal life because they never learned how to navigate this sacred territory with spiritual intelligence. This subject goes all the way back to Eden, because humanity entered this mess through a marriage crisis. Adam fell, not from atheism or rebellion, but by placing his wife above the command of God (Genesis 3:6; Romans 5:12). The first disaster was a relationship disaster.
And the pattern has repeated throughout Scripture. Man is made with three components — physical, mental, and spiritual — and Satan used a woman to attack all three. Mentally, the wisest man in Scripture outside of Jesus was Solomon. Yet 1 Kings 11:1–4 tells us plainly that “his wives turned away his heart.” Emotionally and physically, the strongest man in the Bible, Samson, fell through Delilah’s influence (Judges 16). Spiritually, David — a man after God’s own heart — stumbled into sin because of Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11). Only Joseph, when confronted with Potiphar’s wife, stood pure and victorious, declaring, “How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” (Genesis 39:9).
These stories are written for our instruction today (1 Corinthians 10:11). They are not entertainment. They are warnings.
Inspiration explains the root of the crisis in modern relationships:
“The ideas of courtship have their foundation in erroneous ideas concerning marriage. They follow impulse and blind passion. The courtship is carried on in a spirit of flirtation. The parties frequently violate the rules of modesty and reserve and are guilty of indiscretion… The high, noble, lofty design of God in the institution of marriage is not discerned.”
Adventist Home, p. 55.
This is precisely why courtship is breaking people spiritually. The entire structure of relationships today is based on impulses, emotions, chemistry, and physical attraction — and then people wonder why marriages collapse. They are building a sacred covenant on shifting sand.
The pen of Inspiration continues with a second warning:
“The youth trust altogether too much to impulse. They should not give themselves away too easily… Courtship as carried on in this age is a scheme of deception and hypocrisy, with which the enemy of souls has far more to do than the Lord.”
Adventist Home, p. 55.
That statement alone should shake every young believer.
Most people are not praying about relationships. They are not reading Adventist Home. They are not keeping their bodies healthy. They are not studying God’s blueprint for marriage. They simply want someone — and that desire, left undisciplined, becomes a trap.
Courtship done wrong leads to marriage done wrong. Inspiration says this plainly. And marriage done wrong leads to eternal loss. But courtship done right prepares a man and woman for a covenant that heaven can honor. If you get courtship right, and you get marriage right, you place yourself in a position where God can sanctify the home — and a sanctified home is Heaven’s training ground for translation.
My own courtship has been nearly seventeen years. We don’t live together because Scripture forbids it, but we have learned that courtship is a classroom. It exposes character. It builds patience. It demands self-denial. And it keeps you from entering marriage blind.
God is preparing a generation to stand. But if we do not get relationships right, we are sitting ducks. Courtship is not a game. Marriage is not a hobby. This is life, salvation, and eternal destiny.
May God help us treat it that way.